I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Randomize