i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
