Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
