Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Randomize
