whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
