All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
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