is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
