Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Randomize
