But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
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