Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
My vagina is officially offended.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize