Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
