I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
