You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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