So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
