Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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