We're like a lot better than the average bears
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
