We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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