I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Randomize
