Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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