We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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