I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Randomize
