As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
