I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
