Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize