Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
