That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
