Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Randomize
