i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
