took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
not ubering you a puppy
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
