big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
birth control should be required to get into college
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Randomize
