You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
