haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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