i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
