i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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