We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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