I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
