i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
