? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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