i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
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