u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
