So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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