Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
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