Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Randomize
