Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
