But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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