So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
