I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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