I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
