In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
