loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
