Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
