woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
We left an ass print on the piano.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Randomize
