I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
