i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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