Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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