this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
That reminds me...we need to get swords
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
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