You're so nebulous sometimes
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
well you can't waste a boner
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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