I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
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