either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
