When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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