Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
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