"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
