Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I believe in your delicious
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
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