She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Randomize
