Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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