So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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