Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
