Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Randomize
