who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
