i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
